Book Review: "Why Good Things Happen to Good People," by Stephen Post and Jill Neimark PDF Print
 
To Give Is to Receive: Stephen Post’s Research-Based Recipe for Happiness

A Book Review of Why Good Things Happen to Good People, by Stephen Post, Ph.D., and Jill Neimark (Broadway Books, an imprint of the Doubleday Broadway Publishing Group, A Division of Random House, Inc., New York, 2007)

Stephen Post’s wonderful book, Why Good Things Happen to Good People, is a clear-eyed look at how science supports the idea that people of virtue live longer, better, happier, and more successful lives than people lacking in virtue. Those who are benevolent, compassionate, grateful and helpful experience the greatest physical, mental and emotional health as well as receiving the most joy out of life. The old adage: “To give is to receive” seems to be scientifically valid.

Author Stephen Post is a bioethicist at Case Western Reserve University and founder of the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love located at Case Western Medical School. Sir John Templeton, grantmaker and humanitarian, suggested to Post the idea of starting an institute to study love. Believing that “love is actually powerful medicine,” Post then worked to establish the Institute to scrutinize scientifically the effects of giving love.

Post says that five hundred serious scientific studies demonstrate the beneficent power of giving unselfish love: “The remarkable bottom line of the science of love is that giving protects overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease.” For instance, the Institute’s work has shown that high school volunteers enjoy increased mental and physical health benefits as a result of their giving that last over fifty years—all the way into late adulthood. Giving also aids adolescents in avoiding depression and risky behaviors.

Even when initiated late in life, giving lowered the likelihood of dying within a certain time period by 44% among those who gave when compared to those who did not give. What is more, providing emotional support to others tends to support one’s own emotional health. To give is to experience relief, even for those who are suffering themselves.

Ways of Giving

Giving, Post says, entails many things, but he breaks it down into ten areas or “ways” of giving: celebration and gratitude, generativity, forgiveness, courage, humor and joy, respect, compassion, loyalty, listening, and creating. Each of these ways of giving receives its own chapter. Each chapter ends with a survey for the reader to take to evaluate him- or herself on how well he or she functions in this particular way of giving.

Some highlights include:
  • When they keep daily gratitude journals, after just a few weeks, people (even those with difficult personal situations) find themselves feeling more upbeat about life, sleeping more deeply, feeling closer to others, and feeling generally happier about their lot in life.
  • Nurturing others (generativity) results, for teens, in attaining higher social status later in life, being more spiritually inclined, and having warmer, happier family lives. Teens who are nurturing enjoy greater health benefits throughout their lifetimes than those who are not nurturing.
  • According to a 2003 research study at the Institute of Gerontology at the University of Michigan, forgiving others is linked to well-being. Forgiveness is an anti-depressant, a mood enhancer, and an anger-reducer. It also lowers stress hormones and improves heart blood flow in cardiac patients.
  • Courage, according to a study by character educators William Damon and Anne Colby, both of Stanford University, leads people into joy, certainty, faith, and high standards.
  • Humor and laughter cause the body to release the feel-good natural chemicals of dopamine and endorphins and decrease the stress hormone cortisol.
  • Respect lubricates human relationships, building social trust and capital, which in turn reduce stress.
  • A study in 2005 found that compassion significantly reduced depression and stress.
  • A 2005 study of 147 couples in marriages of long duration (over twenty years), showed scientists that a lifetime commitment of loyalty was the main ingredient of a happy marriage, the health benefits of which have been well documented.
  • Research indicates that being listened to reduces the stress response in persons in pain. Empathic listening is, in the words of one doctor, “a powerful drug” that aids in healing.
  • Creativity is linked to a healthy self-image, positive self-regard, and high social status.

Post’s book is persuasive. He proves that giving contains manifold benefits for those who give as well as those who receive. Indeed, the giver is twice blessed.

The question arises, then, how can each person become more giving in these various ways in order to experience more fulfillment as a human being? Post gives a few practical tips.

First, he advises the reader to take the evaluation questionnaire at the end of each of the ten chapters on ways of giving. Second, he suggests, practice giving for one week in the highest scored area. This should be easy, as the person is already most developed in this area of giving. Then, Post suggests, the reader should devote a week to the next highest area, and so on, until he or she has reached a week of practice in the lowest score area. At that point, Post suggests, the reader retake the evaluation questionnaire and look for improvement.

Post enjoins readers to find the way of giving they most enjoy and then revel in it. He urges them to enjoy the so-called “helper’s high,” to concentrate on the peace of forgiveness, to relish the joy of celebration and gratitude, and imbibe the calming connectedness compassion brings. This will prompt a person to give more, and to generate more and more benevolent power in the lives of others and in his or her own life.

If character is indeed destiny, anyone’s destiny can be improved and made happier by studying Stephen Post’s book and applying its findings. In spite of its scientific rigor, this book is written for the layperson. Post’s clear and sensible prose provides a convincing guide for anyone seeking to improve his or her character and enjoy the fruits of doing so.
 
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